A Sense of Time

 A midlife crisis is first identified by the psychologist Carl Jung and is experienced between the ages of 40 and 60. This is a normal part of the maturing process. People in this age group experience some form of emotional transition in which you take stock of where you are in life and make some needed adjustments to the way you live your life. People joke about this experience; however for many it is a serious period in life when your values and purposes are questioned. You feel that you are getting old very fast and you express this feeling by actions which make a person feel younger.

Some of these actions are harmless; for example a 50 year old man sells his reliable hardtop Chevrolet and as a replacement buys his first convertible automobile. This is a sports car and his wife finds it difficult to get inside the car and out of the car. Hence she hates the car but her husband keeps the car without bothering about his wife’s discomfort. There are other midlife crisis actions which are not as harmless as this. Thousands of marriages have been on the rocks after decades since one spouse started having an affair with someone younger. 

As humans age they feel that time is going faster and faster. During the period of midlife crisis men and women start thinking about their past and present; they compare the goals set by them when they were young and compare it with their accomplishments. If these two do not match they get disgruntled and dissatisfied with life and hence feel the necessity for doing something urgently to prove their worth.

Feeling Trapped

Unfortunately many people feel trapped in their marriages when they are going through a midlife crisis. Both husband and wife look at each other as someone who has been married for a number of years; all along they have made compromises and sacrifices in this period of their married life. Each of them blames the other for holding the other back over a number of years thereby preventing fulfillment of their dreams. For example, the husband blames his wife stating that she did not allow him to accept a particular job whereas the wife blames the husband for not allowing her to take up the trip she wanted to take.

Once you reach the midlife you start feeling that you are left with very little time in your life to pursue your goals. People who are facing midlife crisis feel that they will be considered old within a few years.  Hence they want to prove that that they still have a lot of time left by doing things which youths do.

Midlife Glory

The best part of your life could be the midlife years. This is the period in which you and your spouse can strengthen your marriage bond; you could look back at your yesteryears accomplishments and take pride in them. This is an ideal period for many people to have some fun which they couldn’t have when the kids were young.  During the initial decade of your married life you spend most of your time and energy in bringing up young children, educating them etc.  Now that the children have grown and have started looking after themselves you and your husband can spend time doing things of your own liking.

The midlife years are the best period for both of you to enjoy a vibrant and glorious sex life. Many youngsters believe that as you grow to midlife your desire and urge for sex diminish; however this is not true. This is the age wherein you would have completed most of your responsibilities and worries regarding children’s education and future are nonexistent. Hence, the sexual relations could be outstanding without any worries. People of this age become more self-assured and comfortable with their bodies.

It is unfortunate that people of this age group look outside their marriage to overcome midlife crisis. If you distance yourself from your spouse you will become miserable in your marriage and you may end up in divorce. In case any of the spouses try to act much younger than what they really are, either of them will end up in inflicting emotional pain on their partner. This is as if telling the spouse that you are old and burdensome.

Plenty of Time

It is normal for both the partners to have a midlife crisis; however the effect of this could be a healthy marriage or divorce depending on how you tackle the problem. If the crisis is serious it could become traumatic. If either of the spouses have an extramarital affair or spend hard earned money on un-wanton assets it could cause emotional distress. In case of any irrational act such as this it is advisable to sit together and discuss the happenings to find an amicable solution.

The midlife years could be fun or traumatic based on your actions. You will find that the time flies, but still there is plenty of life to live. In case you feel that what you had achieved during your younger days is insufficient you could find activities that are satisfying to you.