An Empty Nest

The parents spend about 20 to 30 years in bringing up children and educating them; however the children have to leave the parents after they complete their education because of work requirements, marriage etc. The house becomes empty and the parents find it extremely difficult to emotionally adjust. Both husband and wife are involved full time in parenting of the children. Normally the mother takes more responsibility in taking care of the children’s needs and this is mainly due to necessity; the father is also equally connected with the children. Parents spend years to ensure that the children get everything they require until they become adults to take care of themselves.

A major part of your life is spent in looking after children and you find it difficult to digest the idea that they are no more with you. When you do not have the children who have been under your care for long, you are afflicted by the “empty nest syndromeâ€. Empty nest syndrome is a general feeling of loneliness that parents may feel when one or more of their children leave home. On the one hand you are proud that your children have grown up and become productive; on the other hand you feel useless without their presence since they occupied most of your time.

Turning Your Attention

Once the children leave the parents, both the spouses have sufficient spare time on their hands. If any of the spouses feels abandoned because of children’s absence he/ she can easily get dissatisfied with the marriage itself. This happens because the couple finds that no commonality exists between them anymore. This is due to the fact that the children took considerable time of the spouse (mostly mother) which leaves very little time to converse with your spouse regarding other issues or subjects since most of the conversations were centered on the children.

Spouses who find themselves caught in such a situation should realize that this is the best time to pay attention to each other. It is ideal if you can focus on each other and discuss ways and means of filling the void left by the children. This is the time to bring back the pleasant days prior to the birth of the children and look at each other for companionship. You can renew your relationship in this period.

Children leaving home also provide you an opportunity to start a second life which will exclusively focus on your marriage and the needs of both of you. Many a times you have been finding no time to do things for your spouse; now that you have all the time in the world you could do all things you wanted to do for your husband or wife over the year. This is a glorious time of rediscovery and you will not regret it.

Renewing the Marriage

You should consider this as an opportunity to be with your spouse more time in the empty nest. This also will facilitate both of you to know each other well. One of the things you could do is going on a date together by including all the rituals. This makes your dating a great fun. Alternately you can also go to a special place fully dressed up to make new memories.

It is worthwhile to express your feelings for your spouse. You should make him or her aware that you would like to revitalize your marriage emotionally and physically. You can wipe out the feelings of helplessness by supporting each other in this period.

This is the time for both of you to do things which you always wanted to do but could not do for want of time; further you were afraid to start anything new because you were more concerned with maximizing financial security. For example, you can volunteer to do free service or look for a different job which gives you job satisfaction. You can practice a hobby which you like or go on holiday trips with your spouse.

In the event of your looking at the empty nest in the right perspective, you will be surprised how you found time to raise a family. Identifying and recognizing your feelings is important in life. If you are not able to overcome your feelings of insecurity and uselessness you will experience more severe problems thereby getting into depression.

You should try to recover your feelings of worth once the children leave home. It is possible to strengthen your marriage bond by discussing and communicating about the issues on hand. Your kids have come up in life by your efforts and this is the time to focus on your spouse and your marriage. It is also the right time to renew your intimacy. You should concentrate on both the physical and emotional needs of your marriage since there are no children to worry about.