He Treats Me like a Maid

Many wives feel that their husbands treat them like a maid; this is a common grouse of many housewives. Although this does not appear to be a major problem since the wife’s job is related to household cores and housework such issues normally have a snowballing effect in the couple’s relationship. Such things may lead to major arguments. Household chores require constant attention on a daily basis. It is mandatory that the household cores are completed everyday and there is no scope for postponing them. Under such circumstances misunderstandings do occur.

The wife would like to keep the house in an orderly manner; she would like certain things to be done in a particular way. In case these things are not followed the home will become miserable. Your home becomes messy and difficult to live in if you throw junk and papers all over the place throughout the house. It is highly exasperating when you find that nobody cares about the house except yourself. Since you reside inside the house most of the time you expect it to be clean, neat and comfortable. On the contrary your spouse wants to do whatever he wants inside the home without being criticized.

It is a common affair in every household that both husband and wife argue about doing household tasks. If you undertake to take all household responsibilities and become a good housekeeper your spouse will feel that he is an unwanted guest at home; on the contrary, if you entrust the job of dish washing to your husband in the morning he will feel that this is not his job since he has to leave for work early in the morning before you go. Small differences add together and result in major arguments thereby affecting the wellbeing of your marriage.

All about Compromise

It is essential to divide the responsibility of doing the household chores between the two of you. There are people who opine that the total responsibility has to be divided exactly in the middle so that equal burden is thrust on each of you; however, in real life this is not practical. It is probable that you have a long list of tasks to carry out than your spouse. One of the reasons for this is that you may be efficient in doing the cleaning work as compared to your spouse since you have set high cleaning standards. Another reason is that your spouse has more responsibilities in the office thereby having less time available at home. Finally it is a question of compromise between the two.

In case both of you have decided to share the household responsibilities it is advisable to divide the chores into task lists. This list has to be made in consultation with each other and you should identify all the chores which are to be done on a daily basis. As far as possible try to allocate the tasks between the two of you based on the capability of the person. For example, if your spouse takes more time to setup your dishwasher correctly it is better to take this task on your list.

You will always find that some household chores are only suitable for a man and others only for a woman. Of course there could be others which can be done by both. Nowadays things are changing and stereotypes are rapidly disappearing. In spite of this there exist a number of them which one has to deal with. The level of stereotyping varies depending on the tolerance levels of the couple. Since this is personal issue the couple have to decide on the compromise required instead of bothering about what the society thinks or believes. It is possible that you constantly do the dishwashing whereas your spouse will always mow the lawn.

Keeping Housework in Its Place

In some couples the household chores cause constant friction in their marriage; nobody wants this. In reality divorces have occurred due to such issues. The couple starts fighting over the issue of household cores at home which become a mini-war between them; this finally ends in divorce. Both husband and wife start asserting themselves in doing the household chores which leads to such a stage. Further either of the spouses starts nagging about the tasks being left incomplete by the other thereby causing a lot of resentment.

All the tasks that require to be done by either of you should be mutually discussed and agreed upon. By this process both of you are sure of what is expected from each of you when it comes to taking care of your household cores. The most important thing is that both of you should honor the agreement reached. If either of you goes back on the agreement you will upset your spouse which might result in arguments and deterioration in marital relationship.